The Quick Release Button

Its been ages since I've written.

It has been ages since I have done anything for me! Truly, intentionally for me.

Completely self serving.

This blog is for me. 

This is my quick release button, I am under pressure.

I feel the weight of the world, it is a beautiful world though isn't it?

Two beautiful children. A loving, kind, gentle partner. 

Honestly though, let's give it up to for the men who are GOOD, because they DO exist. I have one and I am ever grateful for that. No, I do not take him for granted and I certainly do not dismiss those of us women who have and currently are putting up with the rest of the apes who can hardly clean themselves properly after they dedicate all over our lives. I have one of those too, for the record.

I am blessed. That much I know. At the end of the day, I still need something for me!

So here I am.

I may writing this for my own benefit and no one may ever read it, and thats okay by me.

Have you ever had someone ask you, " What do you do for yourself?"

Did you sit there racking your brain for one thing that was purely for you? I did.

I really had no answer, the small things I came up with were dismissed and my dear friend and Cranio sacral therapist repeated, " For you....what can you do for YOU?"

I had no idea. It has been more than 5 months since that visit with her. I finally came up with an answer.  I can write. I have always loved to be creative through writing. I express myself best in writing. As a child, teen and young adult I consistently wrote to my loved ones and friends. Near and far. I wrote apologies, inquiries, love letters, songs, poetry, LISTS. I used to spend hours in my room, pausing songs and writing down their lyrics, memorizing, experiencing the words as the artist had intended them to be felt. Words are my freedom.

I also love to read, I do not do that enough either. My friends are in my books. I can lose myself in a good story. I have been to Italy, Egypt, the bayous of Louisiana. I have traveled with my friends, I have been in love, I have been heartbroken, I have grieved and laughed, all within my books.

As a mother, as someone who truly pours herself into her children and family. Do something for you, find what it is. Even if it takes you half a year to figure it out. Find your Quick Release button, release your pressure. At 6 am, or 2pm between feedings, at naptime, at midnight. Just make the time. 5 minutes or 5 hours. Do something for YOU.

After all is said and done, there will be no one to take care of them if you do not take care of YOU first. 

-T